The girl on the phone keeps a-ringin’ back
She knows my details, says she knows my past.

The Jam. Girl on the Phone.




I keep dialing 9, but I can’t seem to get out. I think I have been sucked in too far now. The discussion at work degenerated into an “Not if but when” type thing. Then I met her husband. Oh, and of course, he really liked me, told her I was a great guy, awesome build, such an intelligent person…

All she could do was nod her head.

Later, on the phone, I admit, I told her I wanted to see her. We agreed that some time tomorrow we would meet for a while. Dangerous Liaisons… She hinted at the rendezvous being here. In my house.

“I think I need a hug” she said, almost innocently. “Anytime” I answered, my mind flashing back to this afternoon and my hand on the smooth skin of her outer thigh. She was explaining her feeling cold, and her leg was indeed rather cool. And smooth. And firm to the touch. “If anything did happen, we couldn’t tell anyone”. I almost swallowed my tongue.

It started at the Gym this morning, a package had been left for me. A single rose and a well written card. By the time lunch came I had not seen her yet, but the afternoon found us alone in the back office, me installing NT on a workstation, and her entering bookings. The conversation heated more rapidly than an Arizona August day and at one point her hand was upon my shoulder as she reached for some papers… There was, I swear, actual electricity. Of course, my guilt hung over my head like a storm cloud, and shaking her husband’s hand I could not help but feel pity at his ignorance. Let me be clear. Nothing has happened between XX and I. Absolutely nothing. Yet the words ring through my head, “I want to see you.”. Can this really be happening to me? It all seems so surreal, even meeting hubby today didn’t really bring home what I am potentially allowing to occur. Flowers, cards, phone calls and now, clandestine meetings. Didn’t I learn my lesson from Connie’s experiences? Maybe I need to talk to her again.

I am dialing 9… But I can’t seem to get out.

I have been emailing with Mo’s buddies from various places around the city. They seem to be a nice bunch of women and they are keeping me company while Mo is away. Hardly needing it though am I? I may actually end up going out with them this coming week for a “girls and a guy” night out. I miss Mo though, her cubicle is painfully bare without her there. Next week, there will be 8 people away from our office of 14 or so. Guess who will be answering the phones…hahahah, yeah, that will be the day. I got the results of my CT scan and Mylogram today also… No surgery for me, apparently the damage is there, but not severe enough that they could guarantee an improvement. Since it seems to be bothering me less, they are hoping it will stay in place now and my body will compensate for it. I will post the results some time so you can read what they think. Otherwise, I would have to say that the vast majority of my time and attention is being monopolized by my immoral activities. I have to apologize for the one dimensionality of my recent entries, but if you have come to know me at all over the past year, you should know that my morals are strong and something like this is threatening to shake the entire foundations of my beliefs, not only about life, but about myself…